My next flu will be so much better than this one.  It will be fun and have a sense of humor and come with confetti and wind chimes.  I will have  a robot for a tea pot which I  can remotely access and turn off and on to create tea without having to get out of bed or call my husband, and by “ call”, I mean  scrounge up enough energy in my vocal cords to meekly warble “Keith” into the air.