Food Writing Prompt: Gross!
Write about a gross food that you had to hold your breath to try to
choke down your throat. Detail the setting and add as many of the five senses
as possible in your description
There were nights in
my childhood when the oh, so slimy zucchini, upon orders from my mother, had to
make its way off my plate and down my throat before I could leave the table. I would stare at it on the plate: glistening with Mazola, the yellowy-white mush peeking
out of faded green skin. I usually waited until the very last minute of
the meal, and then, breath and nose held, shoved it into my mouth, swept up my
glass of milk to provide extra accompaniment on the journey to my stomach, took 3 bites and swallowed. Clean plate. Permission to exit from the
dining room granted.
People claim it doesn’t
have much taste. Oh,I beg to
differ! (Why beg? I don’t need to do that, I can simply
differ.) It has a pungent tastelessness that is easily recognizable to my palate. And its texture, when cooked to an extreme is
like the stuff that you swallow after sniffing the contents of your sinuses
back to your throat. Truly awful. I adore vegetables, but I cannot stand to eat
cooked zucchini. I may tolerate it in a
flavorful soup when joined by enough veggie friends that it gets lost in the
crowd, but I’ll be honest: I cringe when
I see it.
When a waiter proudly presents
the seasonal side order of vegetables: a "zucchini medley". God help me. Who on earth wants a zucchini medley? Why would I want a medley of zucchini? I don’t
even want a slice of zucchini! It’s a pity since zucchini’s are healthy,
yes,healthy! And moreover they are the
rabbits of the vegetable world. You can
rely on zucchini to multiply a plenty.
No concern that there won’t be enough of a zucchini harvest. People are
getting rid of the stuff – leaving it on peoples’ doorsteps and then running
away. (I wonder if some feel like I do,
but the need to celebrate the prolific nature of this summer squash.) What? Another
one just popped out of the garden? And it’s
the size of foot ball player’s calf?
Yup, that’s zucchini for you. Impressive in size and its growing stamina.
I have walked by
farmer market stand which has proudly displayed a small bookshelf -sized zucchini
for $1.50 and been tempted to buy it just for the sheer price to portion ratio.
You almost MAKE money by eating a large zucchini. I thought I could handle grilled zucchini
thinking the magic of the grill must impart flavor that masks the tepid zucchini-ness
but no. Even zucchini on one of those sheek shish ke·babs sticks doesn’t make my disgust wane. And throw on a yellow squash there, my heart
sinks even further. Oh, the feeble yellow squash. This is essentially a yellow zucchini. These two live in the same family of
ickiness. I have no issue shit talking
them, but they are the only ones I
swear. I don’t want to hurt the feelings
of other loved ones in the vegetable world – they are my friends and I am grateful for
them but please, take my zucchini, enjoy my medley, remove that beast of a
veggie from my garden so I don’t have to use it as a mallet in croquet.
Thanks so much for taking the time to read it! - Mary :)
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